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La Loba

by Fini Bearman

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1.
And We Climb 03:44
Look up at these houses See the curtains Holding back the light on empty rooms There’s nothing there to hide See this row of houses Not a soul disturbs this street Just strangers up above And our voices down below. Like a ghost town Wandering through It’s just you and me See the ivy holding fast What crumbles beneath And we climb Over the balustrade We climb These are the plans we’ve made We go to find our own space Deserted town Deserted place Where paper traps the light And the cold from the outside. Dusty stairways Broken glass The writing’s on the wall As the Man denies us truth We wait for the Fall As we go underground Our voices disappear Though they’re keeping you Safe and Monied They’re taking you’re choice And they’ll take your name The people who stay Aren’t the ones to blame.
2.
My Ideal 04:58
I’ve had all kinds of easy And it’s been complicated But I took it for granted That it’s not that simple That it’s not that easy I’ve had all for nothing And I’ve been all the way down I’ve been higher than I could stand At the cost of living At the cost of loving And everything I wanted I couldn’t find I had to keep on running And leave behind My ideal. I have sailed the oceans And I’ve swam the river wide And I’ve climbed over the highest peaks On the search for something Didn’t know there was someone
3.
Beholden 03:54
Do you find you’re spending the time Concerned with who you see Endless sharing always comparing Wondering how to be Never let yourself be told Cos its a lie that you’ve been sold That one can’t be enough You’re not beholden to anyone Fame is fleeting always competing Still misunderstood Love affection changing direction Rarely coming good Take your eyes up from the ground Open wide and watch things come around Theres no-one else to show you how to feel Now its all been rarified Don’t believe that you must live a lie Sometimes its hard to read between the lines
4.
Empty 03:35
I once knew this house Better than you I chose the colours of the walls The furniture too, But such is new love Old memories fade It’s just my being here Reminds me of yesterday. And now that it’s empty I sit here alone with my back on the wall Underneath where that famous photograph hung I knew this house. And a door once was open Now leads the way to a blank empty space Marks on the floor that with time will erase Shadows on the wall are temporal. And there’s nothing here to be done or said. Cos it’s the saddest thing The sweetest pain at all, And I’ve been here before.
5.
The endless clouds go by Without a care who is watching, And I wonder what will become of this moment? It seems that we need to be told The strength and weight of our feelings, A solemnity as the credits roll I shall an old movie dreamily watch. I would marvel at the moon Make eyes at the stars Scream into the night And be like everyone. (who wants to fade away) But if we choose to not look back At what has come before, History repeats itself again and again. So who would like to take the blame? Calling out for all you sinners, Knowing that doing nothing Is the same as doing something, I shall an old movie dreamily watch. It’s too loud- can’t sleep, Too many noises and disturbances In the silence that we keep. To stay awake - resist to sleep, Or succumb with the reckless masses To a waking dream.
6.
Song 40 02:27
Early morning Autumn dawning And you. T and me And all we want to do. I will never tire of this view. So take my hand and walk with me, See the world beneath our feet, The city breathes, And here we keep Our little home. Night departs And leaves a sparkling dew. Green birds fly Into a sky of brilliant blue. I will never tire of this view. (So take my hand and walk with me See the world beneath our feet, The city sleeps And here we keep Our little home)
7.
8.
La Loba 03:57
In the desert Theres a woman She lives there alone. She’s protecting And preserving What would be lost to the world, What we try to hide. Inside her cave is filled with hair and bones, Resurrecting life is what she has to do, Assembling every piece To make the skeleton of a creature, A wolf is standing strong like a stone. Around the fire She sings a dances And looks to the moon. The body rises And takes its first steps And breathing alone, As her voice rings out. Full of life it leaps across the starlit sky, Eyes wide, heading for the canyon deep, To sing the woman calls upon a breath of truth and wonder, To bring to life the wild soul again. Somewhere under a ray of moonlight, A splash from the river, Dust from the ground. Somewhere, the wolf begins transforming, A woman Running free towards a dark horizon. In desert by the moonlight You go with resolve, You must uncover and rediscover A bundle of bones That is hidden deep. We all must undertake this work alone, Descending into what will lie beneath, The resurrection promises to connect us with the wild soul, And bring her into vital shape again.
9.
I Deserve 03:34
10.
Talk 04:17
We all have a lot to learn, Still fighting one another. Don’t let the resistance burn, Mother, daughter, sister. I hear the opposition, Is it coming from within you? An archetypal coalition Still continues. And it’s clear for all to see, Written in history, But if fiction’s to be believed, She was visionary. What makes you think that I don’t want to talk about it? Whenever you want to know about it, I wanna talk about it. A clock is ticking at the door But it’s only her who hears. She wonders what the struggle’s for, All these years. We sit here surrounded, Objects, items. If fictions unfounded, Take it, show them. Unintended consequences, We always act in the dark. The darkness of closed eyes Against the darkness of the unknown, We always act in the dark.
11.
Holding On 04:06
Holding on, Even when you cannot find your way. So hold on, Breathe it in Surrender to the waves. You’re holding on to find a better way to be, For everything that you’ve done For everyone who you cared for. You’re holding on to find a better way to be, Not to fall in love. Holding on Just holding on, Even in the longest, clouded night. So hold on Only out of darkness comes the light. Words mean nothing when the storm comes in, Two worlds collide and darkness falls, It’s over. Take this lesson Mark it on the wall, Finally see the road which lies before you.

about

Spanning a wide range of musical textures and lyrical themes, ‘La Loba’ is infused with world-wide influences, from American folklore (La Loba) to stories of young children in East Berlin (And We Climb). Narratives play a pivotal role throughout and with this change in aesthetic - multi-layered vocals, guitars and percussion, perhaps reminiscent of Becca Stevens or Jacob Collier - this sound-world draws the listener in as the elements of each story unfold.

These are songs about womanhood and childhood; looking for love and finding it; femininity, courage and the life-long journey towards individuation. Fini looks at the problems we face in this modern age; the pull of social media and worrying shifts in global politics. As well as drawing luscious and vivid imagery, this album is a celebration of all the dimensions of life as well as a call to arms - challenging the listener to stand up and find their own voice.

‘We all begin as a bundle of bones lost somewhere in the desert, a dismantled skeleton that lies under the sand. It is our work to recover the parts.’

(Clarissa Pinkola Estés -Women Who Run With Wolves)

credits

released October 9, 2020

Fini Bearman - compositions and lyrics, voice, piano, guitar, charango, mandolin, ukulele, electric bass, percussion, glockenspiel, tenor saxophone
Zosia Jagodzinska - cello (tracks 1, 2, 4, 5, 10 & 11)

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Fini Bearman London, UK

Fini Bearman is a London based singer, multi-instrumentalist & composer, who has a ‘rare sense of melody running through her eclectic compositions, full of catchy twists and turns’.

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